Sober

Bright days in memory
turn into shades of grey.
See you, heart stops
Oh, how it used to pound.
Golden band
On your hand
Mocks me without making a sound.

You’ll never see
What you did to me,
And you’ll never know
How much I’ve grown.
I’ve left you behind,
Spot in my rearview,
Though in my mind,
I’m haunted by your ghost.

Smiling wide,
Tho’ never reaching my eyes.
Face on fire,
Fingers trembling,
Heart rushing,
Mouth numb,
Brain gone dumb,
My heart craving your drug.

You’ll never see
What you did to me,
And you’ll never know
How much I had to grow.
I’ve left you behind,
An addict in recovery,
Though in my mind,
I’m woefully low on dopamine.

Fever dreams
Burn my memories,
Killing me softly,
Set fire to the fantasy
That ours was true.
World turned blue,
Overdose in dreams of you.

Resuscitate me,
Cut it out of me,
Lord, save me,
From this bleeding thing
Pumping inside of me!
Gasping for air,
Clear skies, almost there,
Seizures cease
and for now at least,
Once more,
I can finally breathe.

No, you’ll never see
That now I’m clean,
No, you’ll never know,
Your drug in my system is gone.
Two infinite years ago,
Crushed and painfully alone.
But looking at it now,
I’m wiser and I’m older,
Can’t hurt me now,
No, you can’t touch me,
Entice me,
Intoxicate me now,
I’m finally sober.

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