The Fatties Of Leesville High

Ok, so there are some serious fatties here at Leesville.

No offense to you Leesvillians who might otherwise take offense, but we students here at Leesville really love our food. I know some students who go off campus and eat out every day during lunch. I’m sorry, but that’s just kinda over the top. This, this is why there is so much obesity. That, and the fact that most of the fundraisers here involve selling things like (delicious) chocolate bars and butter braids. That just does not help.

Also, where do all of these off-campus-ers get all the money to eat off every single day? I know that I, personally, have positively no money to be splurging on food every day, but it seems that some people do. A bit of a waste, if you ask me. All that money, gone to satisfy wanton hunger and thirst. It’s enough to make a girl cry. Almost.

But anyways, the thing that brought this on is the fact that today is my birthday (can you say EIGHTEEN?!?!? WOO HOOOOO!!!). Well, not exactly that it is my birthday, per say, but rather the fact that I am such a giver and make birthday cookies to share with my fellow classmates at school. Plus, it makes me really popular, so that’s always a plus.

Anyways, I was trying to save some yummy cookies (btw, these were the best cookies I have ever made, so these people were luckyyy) for my classes later in the day, but once I got to third period (newspaper), all that went to moot. I got swarmed by my fellow journalists in their implacable desire to eat my chocolatey confections and, despite my cries to save at least one, by the time they were done, there was only one cookie left. So I ate it.

Do you realize how many cookies I had? Like, fifty. You know how many students are in my newspaper class? No more than thirty. That’s how fatty these people are. But I don’t mind, because they were all like, “OMG these cookie s are SOO amazing! Did you actually make these??”

Yes, my dear fans. I have quite the culinary gift.


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