Ok, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for: I’m finally going to tell you how I make my fantastical effervescent coffee! (Please, hold the applause.) Yup, that’s right, the coffee of coffees: the caffeinated creation has sprung from the confines of my labyrinthian mind and into your own mugs.

This how-to will show you exactly how I make my coffee, complete with crappy iPhone pictures! Try not to weep with joy. You’re embarrassing yourself.

1. Use only the best ingredients! (Within a reasonable price range, of course. I prefer Smucker’s and Hershey’s.)

2. Grab those sauces of decadence and SMOTHER YOUR MUG WITH IT.

3. Fill your mug till about 1 1/2 – 2 inches from the top – leave plenty of room for creamer, sugar, and whipped cream!

4. Add creamer. I personally LOVE the Hershey’s Chocolate Caramel creamer by International Delight, but there are also other good ones. Find your favorite 🙂

5. Add Sugar, but not too much. After all, you have enough sweetness in that cup already to elevate you to such a state of blissfulness as you’ve never known or experienced before.

(No picture needed, I think. You’ve all seen sugar before, right?)

6. Add my secret ingredient. I’m deliberating on whether to give you this top-secret information or not. I’m interested in watching you try out different foods and delicious additives to ascertain which is mine. Who knows, maybe you’ll come up with your own secret ingredient! I’ll give a hint, though; two words – first word, first letter: E, second word first letter: T. Good luck!

7. Finally, add whipped cream and top with some more caramel and chocolate sauce in a decadent pattern as displayed below. After all, you can never have to much of either!

And that’s it! The key to making my perfect coffee! I might as well be a barista at Starbucks, I’m so good at making coffee. Thanks to my bffffe (best friend for freaking ever) Kelly for introducing me to the world of coffee those many years ago. Who knew I’d become such a coffee guru?