Dear Starbucks Lovers, ♫Cue Blank Space♫
Yes, that beloved time of year has once again returned: those blissful 2-3 hours a day where you can buy your sinfully-sweet frappuccinos for only half of their usual price.
It’s the time of year that makes teenage girls gay with joy, that makes mothers brandish their wallets with a gleeful severity that empties it of its hard-earned cash in days, and that incites tears to fall from a barista’s eyes.
Yes, Frappy Hour has returned, much to the chagrin and despair of your friendly neighborhood baristas.
Why, might you ask, does this time of joy and frivolity bring your most cheerful barista to her knees? Well, let me tell you.
Lines of overly-excited teenage girls going out the door.
Understaffed and unprepared for the great influx of blended ice drinks that take at least 2 minutes to make each.
Consistently busy for 2+ hours that firmly bars all baristas from a respite.
Need I say more?
So, for all my pals out there who will be craving a half-price frappuccino today from the hours of 3 and 5, here are some tips to reduce the stress on your hard-working and exhausted barista:
- Keep It Simple
Yes, we get that you are super-duper excited to get a Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino for only $2.90, but please don’t go crazy. That drink is complicated enough without adding any more chicken scratch to the cup.
- Know what you want before it’s your turn
You have had 10+ minutes in line to decide what you want. You could’ve been scanning the menu board for your favorite frosty treat instead of looking at your phone or chatting with your friends. Please don’t hold up the line by only looking at the menu once you get up to the register. Please, spare us. (And this goes for every other time you come to Starbucks, too. Know what you want!)
- Don’t ask us where your drink is unless you’ve been waiting 20 minutes or something
We have a line of frappuccinos to make to rival the length of the Nile. More than likely, your frosted creation is squatting in the midst of those plastic cups. We’ll get to you bae, I promise.
- Don’t make changes to your drink after you order unless we made it wrong
If you suddenly decide you don’t want whipped cream or you want nonfat instead of whole milk, please make a mental note in your mind to remember to order it that way next time. Like previously stated, we have a ridiculously long line that we’d like to get through. Plus, you can always scrape off the whipped cream at the condiment bar. Easy peasy!
- Don’t walk away
Yes, we realize that you’ve been waiting for a good little while for your drink. But please, don’t leave to go to the bathroom or sit down. This place is gonna be roaring with the chatter of a thousand customers, the grinding growl of the blenders, and the rushed orders of the baristas. There’s no way you’re going to hear your name in the midst of it all, so more than likely, your drink will get all soggy and we’ll have to remake it. Don’t leave us!
- Tip accordingly
You’re getting your frappuccino for a ridiculously low price. Care to share the love?
- Finally, be friendly
It’s all worthwhile if you’re grateful for the work we put into your frapp and it makes us feel good when you treat us as more than a green apron.
Enjoy Frappy Hour while it lasts, and follow these simple steps to guarantee a fabulous visit with us!!
Keep it classy (and keep it simple),